It’s Not Always The Best Outcome

I’ve been struggling lately. I changed jobs and now have to balance a very hectic work schedule that no one does for me when I take time off with my household of three teenage children and four large dogs.

My new job is a struggle because after being a pharmacy technician for 15 years, I’m now literally just me. Not to mention that there’s so much I have to create and implement- plenty of paper official thingys.

But I’m working with people that struggle in all different ways of life, and that- I relate too. I sometimes don’t have the best words for people when they talk about disliking mondays or waiting for Friday night drink night, but when someone speaks of their hardships, I feel their pain with them.

Anyway so I love my job, that’s what I’m saying.

But I also love my hobby. Which is writing. Which I hope will become my full time job one day. But now I have a job I wouldn’t want to quit. After working for a health authority for seven years that I dreamt of quitting, now I wouldn’t want to leave The Salvation Army. They are quite literally the missing piece in my life.

The reason I’m telling you all this, is I’m struggling with balancing what needs to be done.

Not to mention tomorrow is both my husband and my daughters birthday. No pressure at all!

It’s the balance with multi tasking that diverts my attention into so many different avenues that my ADHD kicks in and I can’t even finish one thing properly.

I want to say that to solve this I will commit to focusing on one thing at a time. But my brain won’t allow this. As soon as it dips below attention needed, my mind races off into the distant future. It pulls thoughts from every minor and major task that’s required or recently completed. Most of those thoughts I can’t even hold for more than a few seconds.

I’m sure lots of know this feeling. or at least I hope I’m not alone in this.

But for all the problems of others that I know an answer for, I don’t know how to solve this. What I do know, is I have to be okay with not knowing this solution. I allow myself to be lazy, not top par, photograph in the dark eating ice cream and not retake ten times until I like where my belly sits behind my laptop.

So I say to me: Be patient with yourself. Because at the end of the day, you only have you. So be your best friend and stop being so hard on your multitasking/failing each task brain. It’ll allow the space you need to focus.

I think.

Much Love

Norma Rrae

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