I always read about people replying to one’s sobriety in this way. But I tell you, once it happens, it’s brutal how much you feel from it.
I was offered a hard iced tea. I simply said, no thank you.
The response was, why? What’s one gonna do?
Why am I made to feel guilty for saying no to a drink? I don’t need one, I don’t want one, and I most certainly don’t need someone else to tell me why I should have one.
I had a million responses I wanted to say to this comment when I turned down an alcoholic drink. (They even said- it’s only a twisted tea, hardly alcoholic at all) It is so socially acceptable that it’s nearly unacceptable if you don’t drink.
And I’m not even a recovering alcoholic! I just want to be sober. Flat sober. Cool sober, not nervous sober looking for my next hit or drink to run from the panic I often feel rose in me.
I chose sobriety for several reasons. One of the big ones being- I’m an addict. Recovered, but it’s still an everyday battle. Whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes, heroin or cocaine. They’re all mood altering drugs and after more than two decades of numbing my feelings with different drugs, I’m finally one hundred percent sober and absolutely love myself more than I ever have before.
Making a comment, any comment, when someone says they don’t drink, is telling them to doubt their decision. It’s absolutely not reaffirming their choice that they are perfectly wonderful sober.
It’s like saying one of these insults:
1- you’re cooler when your drunk
2- everyone drinks
3- just because you have one, doesn’t mean you’re drinking
4- what’s one going to do, really? 🤨
Do you have anger problems? Guess what, they won’t be as bad if you don’t drink!
Anxiety? Worry? Fear? Much more manageable. That social anxiety that gets less when you drink it away, gets worse when you don’t drink. So if you stop and learn to conquer your demons without a crutch, it is actually easier
So what’s one drink going to do? It’s going to make me feel like I’ve lost the battle against my demons. It makes my subconscious say- we can’t manage unless intoxicated- even if it’s just one.
What’s one joint? One hit? One bump?
It’s one more reason to say no, for me, anyway.
Because I’m happy on this little island I call me.
Much love,
Norma Rrae
I’m full of admiration for you, Norma! You are, obviously, a strong and determined woman .Fortunately, I was never tempted by drink or cigarettes when young, although I enjoy an occasional glass of Sangria, when it’s hot (I’m retired in Spain) or a cocktail on a special occasion, The strong desire that many feel is just not there. As drink is still so cheap here, I’ve seen several people succumb and actually die, which always saddened me. Of course, no-one knows why some people drink to excess and others don’t. Some, it is said, have addictive personalities and there are a multitude of reasons why some folk drink, but surely it is totally up to the individual if they are happy with their glass of fruit juice! Great to hear you are happier, Enjoy.