I’ve had an emotional week. So I sit here on this Saturday evening and feel as though I’m sewing closed my wounds. Although once torn open, they never completely close the same. Stitched, but never gone.
I was called out about using inappropriate language during a meeting at work (apparently the word addicted is now on the list of DO NOT USE words- now you’re supposed to say ‘person with drug use disorder’ even though I’m a recovered addict and will forever say that rather than ‘person in long term recovery.’)
I struggle with teenagers that have mental health struggles but are also mean to me when I’m not sitting with them while they’re crying.
Then there’s gaslighting. Which seems to seep into my life everywhere.
Gaslighting is quite literally making someone feel shitty twice for the same instance. The first time is by putting them down, or saying something mean that hurts their feelings. The second time is when they make you feel bad for being sad. The insult is turned into ‘you’re too sensitive’ or they were ‘just joking.’ Then you’re made to feel like you’ve done something wrong, and you feel bad for being sad that someone else hurt your feelings.
Even worse is when you’re insulted and it’s followed up by a cold shoulder. What’s it called when someone’s mean and then isolates you until you swallow the pain and move on?
Why are humans so nasty? Why are we so utterly cruel to each other or judgmental when we are all suffering, most of us silent, even in marriages/partnerships/families/friendships. No one wants to admit their hurting. Especially when it comes to what someone else has simply stated. Words do hurt.
So whether it’s inappropriate language that could hurt someone else, or a flat out insult that was meant to hurt but you pretend it was no big deal, be nice.
Be nice so when we sit to wash the road rash of our day and sew the tears in our soul, be nice so the lines aren’t so jagged. So we all have a chance to sew the torn cloth back to almost new with the threads of forgiveness.
If you just be nice.
Compliment someone. Smile at someone. Not a half smile. A real genuine smile. Kindness attracts. Cruelness repels.